Update Humor
If you're new around my site and don't know how I do things, you should know that my updates have a proper syntax to them. Usually I like to start out my updates by saying some humorous/sarcastic/satirical/random thing(s). I may sing a song about updates, or maybe give you some kinda startling statistic involving updates or something. Either way, I hope you find it at least slightly amusing. This page serves to archive all the humorous/sarcastic/satirical/random thing(s) I've said in past updates.
March
March 26, 2010
Gently opening the creaky door so as not to disturb a sound, his office gave way to a rather musty smell. Clio cautiously inched toward his desk to find a fine layer of dust particles and papers scattered a-top his keyboard. Brushing the dust and paper off without much regard and thus began: a PH update.
January
January 18, 2010
"Two new splash pages I say with delight!
Oh how cool it is to see such a site!
I've got some other updates for todayÉ
So I'm writing this PH update my way;
I say: two new splash pages goooo by!"
November
November 25, 2009
"Happy Pika Days! Happy Pika Days! May the updates keep com-a-ing!"
October
October 13, 2009
"Alas, I have created a work of art! I shall call it: a PH update."
September
September 24, 2009
"Is your life crumbling apart because of no site updates? Well, from the maker of alotofstupidjokes comes: a PH Update!"
August
August 10, 2009
"I got the update, you get the update, I got the update, cuz it's a P-H update!"
July
July 22, 2009
"O update, O PH update! I write thine update for thee!"
June
June 30, 2009
"Cause this is update! P.H. UP-DATE night! There ain't no other updates quite like this; UP-DAATE, P.H. UP-DATE; yeah!"
June 12, 2009
"Oh boy, here we go.."
"What time is it?! UPDATE TIME! It's my creation! What time is it?! UPDATE TIME! Word's out, scream and shout! YEAH!"
May
May 23, 2009
"Did you know: 9 out of 10 people don't get enough PH updates in their diet? I mean, you could end up with..scurvy.. or something..andthatsnotcoolnstuff."
May 10, 2009
"Here we go now! Here we go now! Bring it to the front now! Back it up now go go! B-b-back it up now go go! Update make you lose control! Update make you lose control!"
April
April 24, 2009
"If f(x)= 4x2+8x/(x-2) what is the domain of this PH update?"
April 12, 2009
"Live from 7th Avenue and Broadway, the is The PH Update Evening News with Clio Chu."
April 1, 2009
"I'm going on holiday, wake me up when this update ends."
March
March 20, 2009
"You can update if you want to, you can leave your friends behind. Because there ain't no updates like PH updates and the new splash is lookin' fine!"
March 10, 2009
The tox report came back on our vic showing high levels of diphenhydramine , acetaminophen, and a strong dose of updates: definitely PH style.
February
February 24, 2009
"I'm still here... after alllll these years...writing PH updates; yeah! Writin' PH updates!"
February 3, 2009
"You got update! ...and 137 un-read e-mails!"
January
January 27, 2009
"It's PH UPDATE TIME! PH UPDATE TIME! GIMME A P TO THE H TO THE UP TO THE DATE. IT'S PH UPDATE TIME!"
January 19, 2009
"i can haz cheezeburger update?!"
January 14, 2008:
"I'm an update, I'm a strait up G. The update life is the life for me! Writing pages by day, coding HTML by night, being an update is hella tight!"
January 12, 2009
"Due to the economic crisis, Clio couldn't afford to spend the time to say anything humorous for this update."
January 5, 2009:
"Chu. Cliochu. License to update and has done so on many occasions without question..."
January 2, 2009:
"For sale by owner: PH update. 98,000 miles, problem with 3rd gear grind, slight dull lack of humor, ...new air freshener!"
December
December 31, 2008:
"Just update! Gonna be okkk doo du doo! Just Update! Make that update babe; doo du doo! Just update ju- just update!"
December 29, 2008:
"PH updates are brought to you by our promotional advertisements, and financial contributions from viewers like you; thank you!"
December 23, 2008:
C:\run sb_e-mail.exe
Err: System cannot not find the file specified; wrong website you idiot.
Oh, right...
C:\cd ..C:\Users\Updates>Type ph_update.doc
There we go.
December 20, 2008:
Update: "Hello, I'm an update"
PC: "And I'm a P- hey where's Mac?"
Update: "Oh, well Clio was just writing a new page on Mac, and its advantages over Windows. So, Mac was a little tied up helping him."
PC: "Oh...um...great?" *sulk*
December 19, 2008:
"To update or not to update that is the question: Whether tis nobler in the mind to...update the slings and arrows of blah blah blah... yeah this is an update."
December 16, 2008:
"Remember: PH updates are always a part of a nutritious breakfast, and ooh; a good source of fiber too."
December 14, 2008:
"Doo doo doo du...STOP! HAMMER UPDATE TIME!"
December 13, 2008:
"Itbupdatetimeyo!"
